Pituitary Hunter 盗脑者

Description:

　You can call Pituitary Hunter many things--stupid, dumb, odd, offensive, cheap, et al--just don't call it late for supper.
　　Pituitary Hunter is the type of Cat III film that you should watch if you want a reason not to slip into the bathtub and slit your wrists because it's a film with an important message: there's always someone who's worse off than you are. In this case it's those fantastic dwarfs!
　　Someone's on a pituitary gland binge. Pituitary glands first go missing from corpses and the criminal theft escalates to "alived" persons. All manner of silly red herrings come into play during the police investigation. They first suspect a nurse who plays with and bites corpses. She stacks 'em against a wall like dominoes, commands 'em to march, and pushes 'em all over before the secretly watching cops decide to intervene.
　　Another false start in the investigation leads police to pick up a feral bum who eats live animals. They lure him out of the safety of his storm drain by dangling a live duck from a rope and then tossing a net on him....natch!
　　But the man who is really the most deeply involved in all this is a Chinese expatriate to Hong Kong, Dr. Kwok. Dr. Kwok is really just a nice guy who works in a hospital (but not as a doctor) and who wants to help his dwarf daughter become normal by injecting her with a serum comprised of the extract of pineal glands of both man and beast. Oh yeah, and he sometimes performs abortions in his apartment on kindly, downtrodden hookers. One such kindly hooker is named Manna and takes a fancy to our old bean.
　　In Dr. Kwok's employ is a bodybuilding dwarf named Tsang Kwok On (there are a total of three "Kwok's" in this film). Tsang is a misfit who is the one performing the murders. He kills a watchman at a junkyard with a wrecker, he wears stilts to commit his heinous deeds, and he eventually offs Manna's comrade-in-whoring, Lily.
　　The only thing keeping this film from earning a ten from me is the fact that there is absolutely no nudity. There is, however, plenty of spastic midget abuse, a smidgen of gore, odd gross bits of dead animals, oddly-placed music cues (did I hear Spanish guitar being played at one point?), laughable subs ("Their pituitaries (sic) were disappeared"), and some other stuff that'll make you laugh and laugh and laugh some more till you realize your girlfriend really didn't go to the store for milk and she's never coming back.
　　If you can make it through this schlockily satisfying piece of Cat III trash, I would recommend putting it in a marathon with the tranny serial killer chuckle-inducer He Lives By Night, the trashy rape comedy stylings of Escape From the Brothel, and the atrocious softcore sexploits of Devil of Rape. I give Pituitary Hunter a generous 7/10 because it made me shoot snot out of my nose a few times.